Leadership often asks us to carry others. Grief has reminded me how much it matters when others are willing to carry us, too.
Volume 2, Edition 11
This week, we laid my brother-in-law to rest.
Grief has a way of changing the rhythm of everything. The calendar keeps moving. Emails still arrive. Decisions still need to be made. Employees still need guidance. Patients still need care. Meetings remain on the schedule, and the responsibilities of leadership do not disappear simply because something painful is happening in your personal life.
You find yourself moving between two worlds.
In one, you are grieving. You are supporting your family, processing your own emotions, and trying to make sense of a loss that came too soon.
In the other, you are still the leader.
You answer the phone. You solve problems. You make decisions. You check on your team. You try to remain present for the people who depend on you, even when part of your heart is somewhere else.
Managing grief while managing people is challenging.
It has also reminded me of something I believe deeply about leadership: culture becomes most visible when life gets hard.
Throughout most of my career, I have been the person who takes care of others. It comes naturally to me, probably because I spent so many years as a nurse before moving into leadership. I notice when someone is struggling. I check in. I try to make room for people to be human while still getting the work done.
Receiving that same kind of care does not always come as naturally.
Until I began my career with UNC Health Pardee, I had only once experienced this level of support from a workplace team, during my cardiothoracic and vascular surgery days many years ago.
This week reminded me how rare and meaningful that kind of culture can be.
From my COO and Director to my physicians and team members, my husband and I have felt surrounded by genuine concern, heartfelt support, kindness, and prayers. There was no expectation that I somehow separate the leader from the person experiencing loss. There was simply an understanding that sometimes life happens, and when it does, we take care of one another.
That matters more than any employee engagement slogan ever could.
We talk a lot about workplace culture in leadership. We create committees, conduct surveys, develop values statements, and measure engagement. Those things have their place. Culture, however, is ultimately built in much smaller moments.
It is the text that says, “I’m thinking about you.”
It is the coworker who quietly takes something off your plate.
It is the leader who gives you room to handle what matters at home.
It is the team that keeps things moving when you cannot give your usual 100 percent.
It is knowing that the people you work beside genuinely care about the person behind the title.
This experience has also made me think about the culture I want to continue building for my own team.
I want people to know they are valued when they are performing at their best, and when life has knocked the wind out of them. I want them to know that compassion and accountability can exist in the same workplace. I want them to feel supported enough that when one of us cannot carry everything, someone else instinctively reaches for part of the load.
Leadership often means carrying others.
Sometimes leadership also means allowing yourself to be carried.
This week, I have been reminded how powerful both can be.
That is the kind of culture I cherish.
More importantly, it is the kind of culture I want to help build every single day.
© 2026 Kimberly Weisner, All Rights Reserved
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